There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
when you’re a two-dimensional dog just trying to have fun at a three-dimensional playground
I’ll bet you’d look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed
no matter how many times u compliment me im not making ur bed
this has to be one of the best responses I’ve gotten to this text post
What’s the difference between america and yogurt?
If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture
this was like the sickest burn I’ve ever seen
when u excited about something and ur friend isnt
I’m so sorry
PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT A MANGO IS BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME
i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes
laughing cow cheese huh?
I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH
you don’t kill a cow
to make cheese
this is literally my favorite
none pizza with left beef
It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef
ive missed you
#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)
I love None Pizza with Left Beef.
It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.