I know HIMYM has a few bad lines, but this is the least heteronormative thing I’ve ever heard a dad say to their child, and it’s a line in a TV show.
Bi visibility, FTW!
i will forever be dumbfounded by the SHEER SIZES of some prehistoric animals i mean
i still think HORSES are big but
cOULD YOU IMAGINE
welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. i’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i’m really disappointed
teacher: its pajama day
that one kid: WHAT IF I SLEEP NAKED HAAAHAAHA
I legitimately can’t tell the difference
i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean
IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES
you just put every marriage counsellor out of business
walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home